Quotes by the gloriously insightful Oscar Wilde 

A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite and a woman who moralises is invariably plain.

One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry.

The only thing that consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them.

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt to people whom we personally dislike.

Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.

When one is in love one begins by deceiving oneself. And one ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls  a romance.

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything, and when they grow older, they know it.

One knows so well the popular idea of health. The English country gentleman galloping after after a fox. The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never any good to oneself.

Murder is always a mistake - one should never do anything one cannot talk about after dinner.

Life is much too important a thing to talk seriously about.

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.

The only duty we owe history is to rewrite it.

Every great man nowadays has his disciples, and it is always Judas who writes the biography.

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

A sentimentalist is simply one who desires to have the luxury of an emotion without paying for it.

When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.

I always choose my friends for their good looks and my enemies for their good intellects. Man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies.

Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it.

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

I can resist everything except temptation.

In this world, there are two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Where there is sorrow there is holy ground. 

One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.

A burnt child loves the fire.

Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.

It is a much cleverer thing to talk nonsense than to listen to it.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

One should always be a little improbable.

Beauty, real beauty, ends where intellectual expression begins.

To be popular one must be a mediocrity.

There is no sin except stupidity.

I am always astonishing myself. It is the only thing that makes life worth living.

What people call insincerity is simply a method by which we can multiply our own personalities.

All bad art is the result of good intentions.

The bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.

Only the shallow know themselves.

The clever people never listen, and the stupid people never talk.

Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.

To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.

Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

From Wilde, starring Stephen Fry:

I do believe in anything, provided it is incredible. That's why I intend to die a Catholic, though I never could live as one.

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

I feel like a city that's been under siege for twenty years, and suddenly the gates are thrown open.

No gentleman ever has the slightest idea of what his bank balance is.

Men shouldn't be charming. It's disgusting!